Will I Ever Get Married? Considerations for Navigating Purpose and Partnership

Few questions burn a place in the human heart besides knowing the purpose and having meaning in our lives. Discovering our life’s call is one of the most pressing mysteries that our souls seek. Learning how to walk in that purpose unlocks answers as well as more questions. For single believers, connecting with the right partner serves to advance God’s plans for His kingdom and our lives whether they ever get married or not.

As we walk with the Lord, the questions of purpose and partner may tug at our consciousness as family and friends’ weddings and dates may have come and gone with no spouse for us. Agitation pokes at our peace, bringing with it a longing for our own match among the millions.

There may be legitimate circumstances that have deferred our hope of getting married such as extended schooling, focus on a career, or what seems like a wilderness when it comes to available, eligible partners. When marriage and the milestones we’d hoped for seem to be on a long delivery, it causes us to question if we will ever get married.

It’s no surprise that the enemy tries to insert wedges into the cracks of our mental and emotional weariness. During waiting seasons, his suggestions accuse God of withholding good from us and persecuting us for not being further along in our relationship goals.

It can be demoralizing when a fizzled or non-existent dating experience leaves us with fewer prospects and less inspiration than when we began. It erodes our esteem, making us feel undesirable. It frustrates us, leaving us anxious that the very thing we desire will continue to elude us. Like Adam and Eve, we may be tempted to take our heart matters into our own hands when we feel as if God is withholding from us.

For the Lord God is a sun and shield; The Lord gives grace and glory; He withholds no good thing from those who walk with integrity. – Psalms 84:11, NASB2020

We don’t have to remain in a disenchanted place. There are areas where the Lord wants to encounter us as we welcome Him into our brokenheartedness (Isaiah 61:1-2). Asking if marriage is our portion in this or a future season does not have to be marked with woe.

God has fashioned us as masterpieces to display His glory, but that often occurs on the backdrop of discomfort and periods of testing. In every phase of our lives, we can elect delight over despair, peace over paranoia, and faithfulness over fretfulness, as we submit to His assigned purpose for a designated time.

Prioritizing preparation for getting married.

Prioritizing God and His kingdom invites Him to answer the enduring question of whether we will ever get married as we spend time with Him. No Bible verse guarantees marriage for everyone who desires it. However, those who actively seek God will find Him (Jeremiah 29:13). He provides rest and supernatural strength for navigating seasons of extended singleness. Delighting in Him during difficulty transforms us, positioning Him as the primary desire of our hearts.

And you will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart. – Jeremiah 29:13, NASB2020

God cares about us and loves to give good gifts. Marriage is one of them, but not at the expense of it damaging us or our relationship with Him. Like many blessings, He prepares us first, through unlikely trials that purify our faith.

He doesn’t want us to idolize getting married, such that it becomes a god, clouding our thoughts and cluttering our devotion to Him. Any blessing is intended to enhance our lives, not replace the Father who gave it.

Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. – Psalms 37:4, NIV

While it may seem like what we want isn’t happening fast enough or with the right candidates, we have to decide to trust that God knows our lives best. As we invest in relationship with the Holy Spirit as Counselor, Comforter, and Confidant, honest prayer sorts through the raw matters of our hearts.

He’s acquainted with our thoughts and feelings, but this kind of intimacy breeds heart to Heart communion and confidence in Him. Then the question, “will I ever get married?” becomes less of an indictment out of anger or desperation and more of an inquiry into the Heart of the One who loved us first.

Proper perspective for getting married.

Our desires for marriage are often borne out of God’s desire to give it. He created our capacity to experience spiritual connection, mental stimulation, emotional intimacy, and physical connection with another human being. He formed men and women to enjoy and experience covenant with their spouses as an expression of worship and service.

God wants us to present our desire back to Him so we can honor Him with it. He wants to redeem, not remove our desires. In the proper context, they are designed to bless our future marriages in ways that testify of God’s glory.

As we pursue a relationship with Him, He plants the divine in us. His desires and His vision become our focus as we become more like Him. God not only calibrates our hearts’ desires to reflect His own.

Often, God orchestrates details when it appears that He is silent or inactive concerning our prayers and desires. He also positions us, by design and with our participation, to connect with potential partners whose purposes may complement our own.

Prowler alert.

God knows that every partner isn’t heaven-sent. A snapshot from Job’s story reveals that the enemy tries to test, tempt, and torment us with the issues nearest to our hearts (Job 1:6-12, 2:1-6). He goes as far as petitioning God’s permission for clearance and access to our lives. It isn’t that he’s in pursuit of our possessions or people. He seeks to steal, kill, and destroy in ways that undermine our faith and derail our destiny (John 10:10).

The enemy prowls to prey (1 Peter 5:8). So, it may not surprise us that his influence intersects with our short-sightedness; our partnership with him may have delayed what God held in reserve for us. Sometimes, we have judged prematurely and accelerated with a dating partner before gathering enough data to inform wise decisions.

Other times, we have moved hastily to quell unresolved pain, indulging the temptation to soothe loneliness. We may have poured our years into men or women who were not God’s best for us, thereby deferring our hope and underscoring the question at hand, “Will I ever get married?”

Practical protection.

God is wise enough to orchestrate encounters with the right mix of what we need and want. He is omniscient and kind enough to caution, divert, or rescue us from what appears perfect from the outset or outside, but isn’t healthy or beneficial in the long term or under closer examination. Trusting God navigates our hearts, directing our decisions. We need the One who created and sees all to be our compass and guide in this heart-sensitive journey.

He knows the path that we take (Job 23:10). All of us encounter experiences in life that leave us changed forever. Some may be good and others less so. God knew the plans He had in mind, not only for our challenges but also for our joy.

If marriage is a part of His plan, then He will prepare us to walk into that season without shortcuts. In grace, we receive the strength exchange that comes through surrendering our weakness or vulnerability back to the Lord.

Testing and waiting purify our hearts, forge our character, and elevate our perspective. Yet, when He brings us to the designated time and place, we will be able to celebrate Him and His faithfulness in answering our hearts’ desires.

But He knows the way I take; When He has put me to the test, I will come out as gold. – Job 23:10, NASB2020

Next steps.

Spend some time with the Holy Spirit, and meditate on the following. Notice mindsets or relational patterns that have hijacked your progression toward marriage. Where might you need inner healing, personal growth, or change?

Inquire about the kind of preparation needed to partner with God’s best for you. Talking through these may be an important element in gathering your peace, vital answers, and direction for what’s ahead.

Our God is compassionate and practical. He will equip you with what is needed to address your desire for a marriage that blesses and brings honor. As you navigate this site, select a counselor. You will find the necessary empathy and support as you sift through the questions of your heart. “Will I ever get married” may evolve into another adventure with the Lord to lead deeper into His Heart and yours.