Kate Motaung, Author at Wylie Christian Counseling

About Kate Motaung

Kate Motaung is the Senior Writer, Editor, and Content Manager for a multi-state company. She is the author of several books including Letters to Grief, 101 Prayers for Comfort in Difficult Times, and A Place to Land: A Story of Longing and Belonging. Kate is also the host of Five Minute Friday, an online writing community that equips and encourages Christian writers, and the owner of Refine Services, a company that offers editing services. She and her South African husband have three young adult children and currently live in West Michigan. Find Kate’s books at katemotaung.com/books.

5 Symptoms of OCD in Children

5 Symptoms of OCD in Children

By Kate Motaung|December 30th, 2023|Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Family Counseling, Featured, OCD|

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is debilitating and causes great distress to those suffering from it. It is one of the most common mental disorders. Essentially, it involves repetitive thoughts (obsessions) that must be satiated with repeated rituals (compulsions). This is especially true of OCD in children. While the exact cause of the disorder is unknown, research studies on pediatric OCD highlight factors like inflammatory damage due to certain childhood infections, prescription drug-induced structural changes in the brain, and environment or parenting styles, among others. Symptoms of OCD also develop along with other psychiatric or neurodevelopmental conditions. Symptoms of OCD in children. While it can be extremely frustrating for a parent to see their child exhibit symptoms of OCD, it is important to remember that the disorder feels beyond the child’s control, so it is of little use to tell them to stop doing it. If you are not sure whether your child is showing signs of OCD, consider these five common symptoms: Excessive cleaning routines. If you notice your child develops a habit of excessively washing their hands or cleaning, take note of this common symptom of OCD. Their hands may even show signs of being over washed. This compulsive activity will start to impair their everyday functioning. Counting, checking, touching. Rituals such as excessive counting, checking and rechecking, and repeatedly touching certain objects are compulsions that OCD sufferers use to alleviate anxious thoughts. These rituals bring a level of comfort even if it causes embarrassment in a social setting. Intrusive thoughts. Your young child may not be able to articulate some of the scarier symptoms of OCD in children, which involves disturbing thoughts that flood the mind: killing a pet, thoughts of violence and self-harm. Older children and teens may also struggle to discuss them, as they bring a [...]

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How to Cope With Divorce: Finding Support

How to Cope With Divorce: Finding Support

By Kate Motaung|November 21st, 2023|Featured, Grief Counseling, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

It’s never easy changing direction in life or giving up on a dream. When you get divorced, there’s a sense in which your life starts anew, with new possibilities. Divorce is often painful, but that pain can shape you in positive ways and toward a deeper appreciation of God’s love. The unexpected ways divorce affects you. When you enter a marriage, you do so with certain expectations. Some of these are legitimate and get fulfilled, for good or for ill, while others aren’t met at all. With a divorce, the same holds true. You may have expectations of what it’ll be like, and these are shaped by media, the experiences of friends and family, and your imagination. The following may be unexpected ways that divorce affects you: It leaves a void in your life. Whatever your marriage was like, losing your spouse is like losing a limb. You’ll feel their absence in your life, by missing them, feeling free, or a strange mixture of both. It can feel liberating. Not having a spouse can feel liberating because you don’t have to account for your time, money, or movements in the same way as you do when married. It is like death, and it brings grief. Your marriage may have been a hard one, and while you may be relieved to be divorced, it is still a loss. You’re foreclosing on a particular future and dream, and any divorce, even when justified, grieves God because that’s not His intention for us (Matthew 19: 1-12) It can make you feel like you’ve failed, or even that you are a failure. If you’re a disciple of Jesus, and even if you’re not, divorce feels like a failure in the relationship. It can affect you and make you feel like you’re a failure [...]

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Bible Verses about Worry: Letting God Console You

Bible Verses about Worry: Letting God Console You

By Kate Motaung|August 2nd, 2023|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling, Spiritual Development|

There’s no end to the ways things in our world either don’t make sense, or seem out of control. Of course, while they may not make sense to us, and they may be out of our control, which should not cause us to despair. We can turn to Bible verses about worry. God’s ways and thoughts are above our own (Isaiah 55:9), and to Him nothing is impossible (Luke 1:37). We don’t need to worry because God knows the end of things before they even begin (Isaiah 46:10). Worry is when you ruminate or repeatedly think about the same thing in a way that ultimately leaves you feeling anxious and unsettled. Usually, we worry about future events whose outcomes we have a stake in. Sometimes we worry that something we’d like to see happen won’t happen, and at other times we worry that the worst possible outcome will occur. Either way, thoughts about the situation, possible solutions to the problem, and dwelling on the possible negative outcomes are what worry is all about. Worry doesn’t leave you feeling energized or hopeful; instead, it makes you fearful, apprehensive, and distracted. Instead of helping us, worry simply robs us of our sense of joy and rest. Letting God console you: Bible verses about worry If you find yourself feeling worried, one way to deal with it is to allow the Lord to console you. The Bible says a lot about worry, but below are a few verses that can help you. When the cares of my heart are many, your consolations cheer my soul. – Psalm 94:19, ESV This Psalm addresses a context in which wrongs are being perpetrated by powerful and arrogant people against those who are weak. When the odds are stacked against us this way, it can be overwhelming, [...]

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Help! My Husband is Depressed

Help! My Husband is Depressed

By Kate Motaung|June 8th, 2023|Depression, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Men’s Issues, Relationship Issues|

It is common for men who are depressed to express frustration with understanding and expressing uncomfortable feelings. Men may be tempted to override depression’s signs, believing they need to seek a doctor to treat physical symptoms such as intestinal distress, headaches, or insomnia. They may experience the previous signs in addition to moods marked by irritability and anger. Practical Strategies to Support Your Depressed Husband Because of the historic stigma attached to mental health, men may experience guilt and shame compounded with the signs and symptoms of begin depressed. Treating and navigating depression requires more than cultural phrases to “man up” or “shake it off,” but we can embrace spiritual truth and practical strategies for help when our husbands may be depressed. Prayer. We can support our spouses with prayer. The principle of prayer appeals to God to act on our husband’s behalf. The practice of prayer submits to God, reaching where words alone don’t do enough. The power of prayer lies not in prayer, itself, but in the One to whom we pray, and inclines his heart to receive outside help in places where he might have rejected it. Overall, the powerful effects of praying to the God of the Bible can help our husbands when they are depressed. Provide a safe space. Provide a listening ear without judgment or defense. Avoid personalizing his experience, as it may have little to nothing to do with you. What he is enduring may indicate unresolved hurt from other people and seasons of life that are now resurfacing and interfering with his daily function. Allow him to broach difficult topics as they come up without cutting him off, criticizing, or emasculating him. Encourage him with appropriate verbal and nonverbal cues that convey your willingness to listen, befriend, and champion his well-being. [...]

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How to Improve Your Self-Esteem and Love Yourself

How to Improve Your Self-Esteem and Love Yourself

By Kate Motaung|February 8th, 2023|Christian Counseling For Teens, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

Some people believe it is impossible for you to improve your self-esteem. However, if you make positive, intentional choices, you can discover a newfound confidence in who you are. Characteristics of confidence A person has confidence when they believe that the course of action they have selected is the best one and that they can carry it out effectively. Confidence is sometimes referred to as self-confidence when describing it as a personality feature. People’s attitudes and views about their capacities and talents are described by this phrase. People with high degrees of self-assurance may believe they will succeed in their goals and continue to feel in charge of their lives. People who are confident in themselves typically have faith in their skills, authority, and discernment. They might feel more confident than persons with low self-confidence in their capacity to carry out a variety of life responsibilities well, feeling less anxious and self-conscious. One-time feelings of confidence are also possible. For instance, a woman preparing to speak might be sure that it would go well despite struggling at other times. However, people might also have confidence in most aspects of their lives as a broad personality feature. People with high levels of self-assurance will feel at ease thinking that other people are just like them, that they can perform well at work, and that they can handle the rigors of daily life. People with strong self-confidence tend to be happier than those with less self-confidence because high self-confidence is connected with high self-esteem. A person who has confidence in others believes that other people will do a good job at what they do, fulfill their obligations, or keep their word. While one’s interaction with another person can have an impact on one’s general opinion of others, self-confidence can also have [...]

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Will I Ever Get Married? Considerations for Navigating Purpose and Partnership

Will I Ever Get Married? Considerations for Navigating Purpose and Partnership

By Kate Motaung|January 13th, 2023|Featured, Individual Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Premarital Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Few questions burn a place in the human heart besides knowing the purpose and having meaning in our lives. Discovering our life’s call is one of the most pressing mysteries that our souls seek. Learning how to walk in that purpose unlocks answers as well as more questions. For single believers, connecting with the right partner serves to advance God’s plans for His kingdom and our lives whether they ever get married or not. As we walk with the Lord, the questions of purpose and partner may tug at our consciousness as family and friends’ weddings and dates may have come and gone with no spouse for us. Agitation pokes at our peace, bringing with it a longing for our own match among the millions. There may be legitimate circumstances that have deferred our hope of getting married such as extended schooling, focus on a career, or what seems like a wilderness when it comes to available, eligible partners. When marriage and the milestones we’d hoped for seem to be on a long delivery, it causes us to question if we will ever get married. It’s no surprise that the enemy tries to insert wedges into the cracks of our mental and emotional weariness. During waiting seasons, his suggestions accuse God of withholding good from us and persecuting us for not being further along in our relationship goals. It can be demoralizing when a fizzled or non-existent dating experience leaves us with fewer prospects and less inspiration than when we began. It erodes our esteem, making us feel undesirable. It frustrates us, leaving us anxious that the very thing we desire will continue to elude us. Like Adam and Eve, we may be tempted to take our heart matters into our own hands when we feel as if God [...]

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How Maternal Mental Health Impacts a Child

How Maternal Mental Health Impacts a Child

By Kate Motaung|January 11th, 2023|Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Women’s Issues|

Maternal mental health was not always on the minds of many of the people who provide behavioral health services in our country as an issue that needed to be addressed. The worldview has shifted by the year 2020, and the mental health of mothers (and parents in general, more generally) is becoming increasingly important to the community working in behavioral health. Women who are pregnant, new mothers, or experienced mothers are having their mental health disorders investigated by a growing number of healthcare providers, who are also investigating how the mothers’ mental health affects that of their children. According to the World Health Organization, approximately ten percent of women who are pregnant and thirteen percent of women who have recently given birth experience a mental disorder, the most common of which is depression. This results in an inability to properly function and affects the growth and development of their children. The following is a list of some of the most common types and causes of maternal mental health disorders, as well as how the management of one or more of those disorders can affect a child. Mental health disorders commonly observed in mothers. Depression /postpartum depression. Most mothers around the world struggle with depression, making it the most prevalent mental health problem related to motherhood. Although many mothers will suffer from depression at some point in their lives, postpartum depression is the form that affects new mothers more frequently than any other. After giving birth, up to eighty percent of women will experience postpartum depression in some form or another. Weepiness, impatience, irritability, restlessness, fatigue, insomnia, sadness, intrusive thoughts, or an inability to stay focused are some of the symptoms of this maternal mental health disorder. Anxiety disorder. Anxiety disorders are yet another typical problem with a parent’s mental [...]

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How Bird and Birdsong Encounters Improve Mental Health

How Bird and Birdsong Encounters Improve Mental Health

By Kate Motaung|November 17th, 2022|Featured, Individual Counseling|

According to research, trips to areas rich in avian life could be recommended by psychiatrists to patients looking to improve their mental health. According to the findings of some researchers, the simple act of observing birds or enjoying birdsong encounters can have a positive impact on one’s mental health. Why is hearing birds sing so soothing? The idea was that when there are dangerous predators nearby, birds will stop singing, indicating safety for our subconscious. People have felt at ease and peace when they hear birds sing for thousands of years due to this association with safety. The researchers hypothesized that exposure to nature and birdsong might be an excellent treatment for a variety of mental illnesses. But it comes as no surprise. There are many excellent examples of how nature has a positive impact on health in the medical literature. Dr. Eleanor Ratcliffe, an environmental psychologist at the University of Surrey in the United Kingdom, is an expert on the psychological effects of birdsong. People she polled for earlier research believed that birdsong helped them concentrate and unwind. However, their perception of these advantages was influenced by previous outdoor experiences involving a specific birdsong. They responded more favorably to a birdsong if they had previously heard it while enjoying time outside. For instance, some bird songs brought back memories of childhood nature hikes. Harder bird calls, like those of corvids like magpies, were perceived as distracting as opposed to calming and concentrating. The benefits of birdsong were more frequently cited by people who said they felt a stronger connection to nature. More recent studies by Dr. Ratcliffe have shown that more people are calmed by birdsong that is softer, more complex, and melodic or harmonic. This effect was stronger the more frequently birds sang in a recording that [...]

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Three Components of Effective Communication in Your Marriage

Three Components of Effective Communication in Your Marriage

By Kate Motaung|September 28th, 2022|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Effective communication is an important part of any relationship. It helps ensure people are connected and understood. This is even more important in a marriage. But just because it’s important doesn’t mean it’s always easy. There are times in a marriage when communication feels hard. Maybe it’s because you don’t agree on something. Maybe it’s because you need something different from what your spouse is offering. Other times you may not even know why the communication feels off; you just know that you feel disconnected. The good news is that communication is a skill that can be learned and built upon over time. Instead of feeling like you just can’t seem to communicate, you and your spouse can work together to build effective communication that serves both of you and draws you closer to one another. Why effective communication matters On some level, it is clear that communication is important. It’s often one of the most discussed elements of relationships. But knowing it is important won’t help you understand why it’s important. And the why is what helps you work for better communication even when it feels challenging. The way you relate to your spouse affects your relationship and more. Some examples of why communication is important are to: prevent misunderstandings work through misunderstandings build respect increase trust remove the need to guess or assume save time increase self-understanding and respect build satisfaction foster growth learn about your partner and yourself reduce stress and anxiety These benefits of communication help you build a stronger, more loving marriage that is less stressful and more beneficial for you and your partner. Elements of effective communication Communication within your marriage involves more than what you talk about. While talking is a key component, you also need to think beyond the verbal to [...]

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Faith Over Fear: Putting Faith into Practice to Overcome Worry

Faith Over Fear: Putting Faith into Practice to Overcome Worry

By Kate Motaung|July 13th, 2022|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling, Spiritual Development|

Hebrews 11 is known as the “Heroes of Faith” chapter of the Bible. Throughout history, men have done the impossible by faith. “The just shall live by faith” states Hebrews 10:38 (NKJV), and this chapter proves that faith over fear can conquer any circumstance and overcome worry. What have you found your circumstance to be? Is it the uncertainty of a diagnosis? Is it the lack of a steady income? Is it an unfaithful spouse? Is it an estranged father or mother? Did a child take a path that you did not approve of? Whatever you’re facing, this chapter reminds us that through faith, we can face the impossible. With God’s help and through prayer, we can reach what feels unattainable. True biblical faith is not an emotional “hope so;” it is a real conviction based on the Word of God. Hebrews 11:1 (ESV) says, “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” Other versions of this verse use words like “confidence” (NIV), “certainty” (NASB), “reality” (CSB), and “substance” (NKJV) instead of “assurance.” So, when the Holy Spirit gives a man faith through the Word, the very presence of that faith in his heart is all the assurance and evidence he needs to overcome worry. It has been said that faith enables the believing soul to treat the future as present and the invisible as seen. Through faith, men see what others cannot see. When there is true faith in the heart, God bears witness to that heart by His Spirit. By faith, Noah saw coming judgment, Abraham saw a future city, Joseph saw the exodus from Egypt, Moses saw God. By faith they saw the invisible, chose the imperishable, and did the impossible. Faith over fear accomplishes things because there’s power [...]

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Kate Motaung

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